Tiger Tiger burning plight ...

Growling Tiger from the blanket of his house will certainly give an impression of a big threatening dog. My neighbor does not even require a board on perimeter wall saying “beware of dogs”. Yes, Tiger indeed is a dog, but, if our Tiger ever comes face to face with a wild Tiger, the wild one will die. Die of humiliation. Even a blind man will disqualify my neighbor’s claim to name the beast, Tiger. Tiger minus bark is unnoticed on the street among all the other street dogs. It is unrealistic to believe that the poor being’s name is Tiger. Difficult to understand, why my learned neighbor named the lean, bony, skinny creature, Tiger. Perhaps he did not find time to rechristen the dog after puberty. Nevertheless what is remarkable is the deep fearful bark. The bark is what is important in dark dead of night to threaten intruders. And Tiger satisfactorily does the job of keeping away trouble. Rather he is the cause of all my troubles.

Usually everybody loves their privacy especially when in bathroom (also read as restroom), me not an exception. But since the day I have shifted to this locality, my first step into the bathroom sets off alarm, as if it is to warn my commode of incoming artillery barrage. The continuous scaring bark of “Tiger” defies my purpose of visiting my restroom. By the time I take position to release the pressure that has built within my bowels, the cunning dog starts terrorizing me through never ending howl. Finally, I come out broke after a desperate try of emptying my intestinal coil. True, by this time I should have gotten used to the unkind gesture, but I have still not learnt to convince my intestine to get used to it. Slightest of disturbance during nature’s call ruins it. These days my visit to the relieving room is no less than expedition.

Believe me, I did not leave any stone unturned, explored all the ways, all the tricks to fool Tiger, and I have not succeeded yet. Including, using restroom without light. I mean bulb light, replaced the glow with candle light. Ultimately when I sat to test, I was like a sitting duck as vulnerable as was in the past. No my friend, it is nowhere near like a romantic candle light dinner. I have a feeling the dog probably spends the time waiting for me underneath the ventilator of the restroom. I am a victim who spends prolonged minutes to ease out in vain and the merciless dog shows no pity. As we have animal rights organization to prevent animal abuse from human, I need a human rights organization to prevent human victimization by animal (more precisely, neighbor’s dog).

In stress, I planned a retaliatory attack to give it back (Tit for tat) to the dog when it ventures out for poop. However the plan has its challenges and risks. Tiger is accompanied by the arrogant owner, which makes it difficult to execute “project Tiger”. Hence, I will have to wait with a patience of a saint. One such morning when I was keeping my eye on Tiger, I noticed Tiger indulging in pooping right in front of the gate of a villa 2 blocks across. After parking his excreta under the board that stated, “No parking in front of gate”, moved on as if the job was done by someone else. Tiger’s majestic walk gave a false impression that he was not the culprit. Most of the days I have seen the dog’s devastating intentions of spoiling well kempt lawns.

Hallelujah, I got a golden opportunity, that morning Tiger was alone and was in half squat pose to release unsightly, smelly stuff. I looked around to see if my neighbor was around. He was not, I kneeled down picked a stone and looked into the eye of my biggest enemy of past few months. Damn! Tiger’s doleful eyes left me in a dilemma whether to threaten or show mercy. My unhurried decision left me with no choice, Tiger’s “Guardian Angel” (or Guarding Angel) was standing behind me, monitoring my moves. It was a generous miss.

With the agony, I will pass rest of days, haunted in the locality with the foolish hope of opportunity knocking my door again.