To live without you ...

Tide had the supremacy to sweep me, standing and resisting was beyond my strength. Deciding to stay put or rather flow with the tide was the only thing I could do. It was a difficult choice year’s back, but there was hardly anything that I could do to turn the events. The bond that I nurtured caringly for five years was not sturdy enough to take the blow, in a moment it was brutally ruptured. That day had I not let you go, I would not have learnt to live without you.

I am sure it was not love at first sight, later I do not even know when I fell for you. Perhaps the first encounter prepared me to think you are made for me. Dreaming about you in leisure was the only thing that I did. Subtle changes in me went unnoticed. Although I dare not to let anyone know about my feelings, I always desired to have you around me all the while, when I rouse in morning till I retire end of day. The attraction was fatal and irresistible. By then my world had already started revolving around you, stealing a moment with you in-between classes were utmost satisfying.

You were fascinatingly incomparable in your white top and khaki bottoms of all named brands. Initially, people used to stare at us thinking, I was too young to have you in my life but then it was just beginning of a lasting relation that I could never think of stay away from. I loved strolling with you through the same streets innumerable number of times which otherwise was boring, at times over the skywalks of railway stations, godly hours on the bus stops, on the back roads to avoid getting caught, vainly hide you behind my back at the first sign of trouble. Accept my confession, I would have had to be unfaithful in disowning you if trapped, Thank God!

Once when I was completely bedridden with fever, every conscious moment I was longing for your comfortable touch which I felt could cure me. Impatience was unmanageable, as if someone was holding me against my wish and I desperately wanted break the shackles to be with you. It was very uncharacteristic of me but fact. The zeal to get well soon was driven by your thoughts. God willing I recovered quicker than expectation and regrouped again. The separation brought us closer than ever.

The time that we spent together always looked too short, I realize even my whole life with you would give the same impression. This day when I am trying to live every moment, time is struggling to pass. Your first affectionate touch on my lips is still fresh in me as if it had happened just the other day. You were there with me like a loyal friend in my anxious moments, sad days and better days. Your presence around me was stimulating, pumped fresh lease of life in me. I was hopeful of spending a good rest of my life in your vicinity. Life without you itself was life threatening. Subsequently, with you was equally threatening. Indeed you threatened my life, I am glad I do not have the urge to hold you in my lips anymore.

Today when I notice you locked by lips of a person, I feel pity on him. May good sense prevail so that he walks over you and get away from your deadly web. After all life is precious than cigarettes.